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  1. Spanking: How a sexual fetish went mainstream
  2. Good Old Fashioned Spanking: A History
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I'm also a total control freak in most aspects of my life.

Spanking: How a sexual fetish went mainstream

Other people get stressed out when they have too much to do, but I'm fine as long as I have total control of all of those things. Invite me out to eat dinner with a group of people and I defy you to make me have a good time and not think about the fact that at the end of the meal we're going to have to figure out the bill.

For many women, being in control , working to maintain control, or struggling to gain it, these are all huge parts of what it means to be a woman. When we are babied or punished in our daily lives it's never because we want it. It's because we have sexist bosses or colleagues who think it's okay to undermine us just because we have vaginas. Women like being spanked not because they have issues held over from their childhood, or because they have secret self-loathing and think they deserve to be treated badly or abused. Women like being spanked because for just a few, precious seconds they are transported by a pain of their own choosing away from the strictures of control that we have to exercise to survive AND be female at the same time.

Introducing: James & Val

It's true of a certain segment of the population that has found that being spanked is exactly what they need to sustain them emotionally, sexually, and intellectually. It is unclear how many women have participated in Fitzsimmons' program. The six who filed the criminal complaints had all been members, but Fitzsimmons' attorney said there have been several others.

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The Spencer Plan started in the s as a form of "carefully regulated corporal punishment" between husband and wife. Couples agreed to a list of things the wife needed to change, such as not spending money frivolously.

Good Old Fashioned Spanking: A History

If the rules were broken, the husband punished her by spanking and it was put behind them. It has expanded through the years. In return, she was required to walk 20 blocks each day, keep a log of her meals and spending, and refrain from drugs.

When she didn't, she was spanked. Fitzsimmons took it further, she said, when on three occasions he sexually assaulted her with a curtain rod, a hairbrush and a horse riding crop. Another year-old woman said she thought the program was an amazing opportunity.

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She had only been spanked once before she went to him in January to discuss him paying for her three-year-old child's birthday party. She said he refused to let her leave until she let him spank her. She and others said they feared Fitzsimmons, who walks with a limp. They say he made vague threats and convinced them they couldn't make it without him.


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None of the women filed charges until Fitzsimmons in April accused one of them of stealing money and fired her from his restaurant, the oceanside Envy Bar and Grill, where many of them worked. A week later, six women began filing charges. On Thursday, that former employee's complaint was dropped, along with those of two other women whose only complaints were that they had been spanked. Fitzsimmons came to Virginia Beach last year from Minnesota, but much of his past is a mystery.

He has a master's in business administration, but much of his attention is spent counselling young women and helping those in need, friends said. Terry Schantz and his girlfriend have been helping run Fitzsimmons' bar since he was arrested in April and denied bond. He said Fitzsimmons was a generous and caring man who would buy groceries for those in need or find the homeless a place to live. He said he can't imagine Fitzsimmons being violent. These are all adults and they're getting the money from this old guy. Copyright owned or licensed by Toronto Star Newspapers Limited.